Insomnia sucks

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Insomnia has bitten again. I live for the day that I can bring Colton home and finally sleep a true sleep. Oh I know he’ll wake up each and every night. But when I’m sleeping it will be filled with peace knowing my family is whole. Oh I cannot wait for that day!

I’m so glad I can write as it helps me understand my problems and feeling. Well to put it short and sweet’ my husband and I are having difficulties with my mother in law… Needless to say Cory’s brother is a part of this problem. She won’t listen to what were saying so me and Cory have come to a mutual conclusion that its time to move on…again. I know that we an make it on our own as we’ve down it before no problem. We (cory and I) just thought shed changed and that it would all be different…NOT! Oh how she drives me nuts! So lately I become to going to the park, the buss stop where m mom works, or random friends with kids. Just so I can stay sane. And not let the kids see her be so disrespectful. I want them to love their grandmother…and…I can truly say that it’s very easy to be respectful towards her…doesn’t mean I

respect

her.

Well, we have been driving around looking for a new house, a nicer house. And it’s been difficult so far but we have a lot of hope. I am so glad Cory and I have such a strong and wonderful marriage. It makes struggles like ours so much easier to bear.

When Colton comes home, he’s going to have home health care.

Height, weight, head circumference, etc

The nurse will come twice a week the first two weeks, then once a week for the next four weeks, and so on and so on. Physical therapy may be in his future…and the dreaded little rock trips. At least most of his appointments will be in Lowell.

I just hope he comes home really quick. I miss him so much! My heart hurts and when I think of how long it’s been since I’ve held him….I sometimes just want to cry to myself. I hold it in all day, so that my children don’t see tears all day everyday. Like now, as everyone sleeps, I feel my eyes moisten by just thinking of him. Scrolling through his pictures and remember that particular NICU/hospital smell. Oh that dreaded smell! An almost sick smell. The day that I can bring him home will be the most happiest day of my life (aside from our marriage, and each of my kids birth.)

Writing definitely has helped, I am starting to get worn out. I have appointments for the kids tomorrow and I don’t want to drink to much coffee!

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